Now I can see my future
After a lifetime of having a perfect vision and almost a supernatural power of x-ray capability scrutinizing the unseen and beyond the obscure, I was informed recently by a very young and petite optometrist that my eyes need some serious overhauling. What I mean to say is that, I need to replace my old single focal lens with a multifocal which allows me to read, watching ASTRO and monitoring my kids doing their homework at the same time. A multifocal lens enables me to do multiple jobs which is brilliant and cool. I can recommend this to my colleagues especially in the Public service to have one. In fact I should recommend it to my maid as well.
The problem started when I realized that I need to put my book a mile away in order to make out what the introductory part was all about. That explains why I just could not finish every single book that I bought from Kinokuniya, Borders, MPH and Amazon.com in the past ten years. The only book that I’ve so far managed to finish in a single sitting is on “How to Manage your Menopause Boss”. That was while waiting for my connecting flight to Rio de Janeiro after a 5 hours delay.
This is clearly a syndrome. Our friends in the optical department single handedly coined this syndrome as presbyopia. A simple example of this awkward condition is when you start to have a feeling that your arms aren’t long enough to hold a newspapers or a love letter from your sweetheart at a position where you can read it clearly. Simply putting it – I am getting old and almost every part in my body is deteriorating.
Having a multifocal lens is supposed to be fun, but it is not. It makes you look like a handicap person. Apparently, having a defect eyesight with a pair of specialized glasses don’t put me in the same league as a mutant or X-men. At first I felt like walking on the cloud drifting and floating along with the wind. After a while, I can moonwalking like the late Michael Jackson, the skill I’ve never known I had before. Using and trying to comprehend this artificial eyes accessory though doesn’t require one to be a genius or having an elephant brain. It needs a special skill which is patience. Initially I have to train my eyes to perfectly align with the designated regions in order to focus. They did and they behaved very well.
“up” and the eyes go up when I want to focus on the TV screen.
“down” and the eyes struggling to focus all the objects down and beneath my belly. But something is not right as I am having difficulty to focus around this region as somehow my expanded waistline seems to obscure the most beautiful sight every man should have.
This starts to sound a bit weird, but actually given that all middle-aged people are bound to start going wrong in every department, a defect eyesight is not that bad either. First and foremost, I am constantly reminding myself that something is being taken away from me in the most fashionable way – by the Maker. Secondly, it knocks the socks off having some dreaded terminal illnesses such as the ‘Malay PHD’ which translates as a person who cannot see others better than thou or the ‘mata keranjang’ syndrome. Both diseases so far have no known cure.
Finally I am quite contented. With this newly acquired skills of multitasking, successfully training my eyes to see the unthinkable and having a double vision, now I can see my future bright and clear.