Persona non grata

Some people might think that having to work in the thick jungle, somewhere in the oblivion and perhaps living in a primeval civilization may be a bit bored and unthinkable of. Stinking odour from the rubber processing factories that will last for seven generations, a chowder of effluent discharge ala-Chernobyl and a prospective of constant exposure to the numerous hazardous chemical will turn any sanity into a shamble. Even the many unsung heroes who are still hanging on to their last breath will be merely reduced into a couch potato. Somehow, I have been enjoying my celebrity status here and thinking of opening my own fan club soon, speaking of which will be swarmed with unfazed menachees who have been made redundant working in the field, thank you to the global economy hiccup.

This morning was not an ordinary morning. While having an early morning discussion with my subordinates, loud bangs and unfamiliar scuffle along the corridor had almost made me fell from my comfy chair. That was very unusual as normally we will enjoy our serene and blissful morning peacefully. A peek through a window unfold a high drama involving our security personnels with another rare species, which according to Charles Darwin is our distant relative from a common ancestor.

That was not a point of the day though, and any argument as to validate the theory will be as futile as to argue on why frogs are made to jump and donkeys are to follow blindly any instruction coming from the sky. Whoever that is still believe and worship the theory (a Darwinian), might as well shoving a banana into their big nostrils.

But the irony was, this morning I saw a monkey, monkeying around in the office. I feel some sort of deja vu. A straying monkey is considered a nuisance. What’s more a male one. Ladies especially hate that monkey as earlier this morning this lone primate had chased menacingly after menachees (probably one of my hardcore fans) and showing off openly his primal obscenity toward the opposite sex. The monkey was later tamed down and send off to their natural habitat nearby. Not to put the blame solely onto the monkey, widespread development and real-estate hunters molesting the scarce land bank surrounding our almost extinct habitat has forced this creature to find his own sanctuary elsewhere.

I couldn’t help but smiled to myself. This unfamiliar sight caused a stir in my stomach and I had this familiar feeling. There are a lot of monkey business going on in the offices and around us. Many factors for us to monkey around when trying to explain the phenomenal disorderly behaviour that plagued the mentality or our own kind. One that might interest the public is the classic thinking that the higher you climb the ladder, the more respect you’ll gain. I believe this type of thinking has in a way corrupted some brain cells thus making correct and fair judgement is almost impossible. I still believe, the higher you climb the more pain you’ll get if you fall. But then people might says – no pain no gain. For me, I just want to live longer and happily ever after.

In this monkey’s case, he has probably lost his diplomatic immunity and during his quest to claim back his glorious past, probably forgot he is no longer living in the Planet of the apes. Obviously those didn’t cross his mind this morning. He is now a persona non grata.

I have to obscure the true identity of this cheeky being. We don’t play fool with monkeys. You’ll never know what they are capable of. They can be your closest friend, while at the same time (when you turn your back on them) throwing their shit at you. But hey…they are monkeys!

This is an undifused ‘bomb’ that was used to scare away the monkey I found on the crime scene this morning. With proper and correct persuasive approaches, monkeys can be easily tamed down. Monkeys are animal like us (in classical sufism we are referred as ‘haiwanul mantik‘) and they are creatures that can use their brain probably better than any of us if not cleverer. At least they don’t bite you back especially if you charm them with bananas.

40 Responses to “Persona non grata”

  1. drSam..
    betul apa yang doc ckp..
    kadang2 sang monyet boleh jadi kwn kita..kadang2 juga boleh jd lawan kita..

    kita boleh bagi pisang untuk jinakkan sang monyet..tp sampai bila?..

    makin jauh kita panjat..makin gayat kita lihat ke bawah..betul tak?..

    kalau saya salah..minta tunjuk ajar doc..

  2. Honeya Diaz Says:

    Greetings Dr. Sam. I'm attracted n agreed with this statement–>

    "One that might interest the public is the classic thinking that the higher you climb the ladder, the more respect you'll gain. I believe this type of thinking has in a way corrupted some brain cells thus making correct and fair judgement is almost impossible. I still believe, the higher you climb the more pain you'll get if you fall. But then people might says – no pain no gain. For me, I just want to live longer and happily ever after."
    –> totally agreed with it. Nowadays people tends to be too proud of their 'gold trophies' as they thought they would receive more respects as high as their level of achievement.. As for me, i just wanna live happily and peacefully. That's all.

    Love to read your post. It's inspiring me at da same time.

  3. penjenayah.merah.jambu. Says:

    ehe,cerita ni bukan sebarang cerita monyet ni..ada maksud tersirat ni..🙂

  4. i like monkeys..heheh..
    my grandmother keep one as pet..

  5. aida…nama diberi berusia 47 juta tahun………….
    dr sam…payah la mat2 salleh nie, knp diorang masih percaya teori beruk nie?

  6. pal7,
    Right on bro! Memang kena sekali ulasan sahabat. Sama-sama kita berkongsi pengalaman dan mengambil iktibar darinya.

    Honeya Diaz,
    Hi there. There are other thing, more important thing that we should chase after. A ‘ration’ never enough in this short lifespan.

    Do come again and we can learn from each other.

    Pejenayah.merah.jambu,
    Saya tersanganlah suka kepada monyet-monyet yang menghargai monyet lain.

    Dino,
    Yes, Still remember when I was a child in my kampung, people like to keep monyet as their pet. Cari kutu, petik buah kelapa etc. And the will ferry their pet on the bicyle everywhere they go around the kampung.

  7. besi,
    cantik nama tu. ada makna tersirat atau tersurat ke nama yang seglamer itu?

    Kalau mat salleh tu saya tak khilaf sangat percaya bermacam-macam teori mengikut logik akal sahaja. Namun ada juga bani adam kulit sawo matang yang bukan sahaja percaya, namun perangai pun adalah juga sipi-sipi.

    nauzubillah.

  8. MariaFaizal Says:

    Apparently, there's a small monkey here around my residential area escaped from 'his (or her as i'm not sure) owner' menacing our washed & drying clothes. I fed him(or her) peanuts & some fruits but eventually he/she was hanging from Faizal's kain pelikat & most of the clothes fell off the penyidai.

    My neighbours & I reported to the authority(also the mgmt).However, this smart 'fella' climbed up to the top of the roof here & clapping his/her tiny hands. Cis!

    He/She looked so adorable when asked for food (seriously when he showed his/her palms with face/expression that you could say NO to).

    Sigh…monkeys!!!

    P/S: Looking at the monkey's behaviour, it is so unfortunate that I feel some human beings do behave like one😦 (minus the part hanging from penyidai to penyidai)

    Cheers to you & yours.

  9. This article of frogs, monkeys, donkeys, naive menachees, has a deep, deep satirical value. I like it Doc.

    Don’t let them get you down – insanul kamil is our endeavour. Yours is higher, I guess.

    (Sigh) for me I’m guilty of monkeying around too much, too. Thanks for the reminder.😉

  10. CatlinaFly Says:

    teringat masa sekolah asrama dulu2..kalau lupa tutup tingkap bilik, balik dari kelas, mmg bersepah lah bilik dikerjakan monyet2 tu.Takleh salahkan monyet2 tu jugak kan..mmg kadang2 jadi nuisance dan juga threat kpd kita, tapi salah manusia jugak kan, membangunkan kwsn hutan dan jadikan kwsn kediaman, sekolah dsb.Jadi monyet2 itu cuma nak cari makan..as their survival….

    Siap ade member sy jatuh tangga smpi bengkak2 kaki dikejar monyet masa balik dari kantin asrama…bila waktu petang, satu cabaran buat kami student2 nak ke kantin utk minum petang sebab laluan tu byk sgt monyet melepak kat atas bumbung susur gajah ke kantin tu.

    lagi satu, sy pernah dengar kata2 ni, lupa pulak bila & di mana:

    "Respect is to be earned, not to be given."

    Re: teknik HDR, ade software khas utk HDR ni (high dynamic range photos)

  11. jangan monyet..jangan…

  12. monyet yang menghargai monyet yang lain..hurmm…sumtyme manusiapun x mcm tu… xtau menghargai… hurmmmm~~

  13. ouT oF My MinD Says:

    darwin buat teori camtu sbb dia pening tgk orang sekeliling dia bersikap macam monyet jugak kot….hehehe ;p

  14. encik ariff Says:

    sarkastik!

  15. VersedAnggerik Says:

    that undifused bomb – its not the kind that killed altantuya erk? The c4?

    looks like mercun telur to me…. used to but in in packs of 100s from Rantau Panjang!

  16. SRISUFI Says:

    ‘Minda adalah modal insan yang paling mahal yang ada pada kita dan negara kita’.

    aduhai…teori darwin

  17. Nurhani Salwa Binti Jamaluddin Says:

    Salam Dr Sam,

    Really interesting entry about monkey..Though the Darwin theory on ‘human evolution’ was based on monkey, hopefully we do not behave like monkey..We’ve got brain, not like monkey.. Monkey business, let the monkey do, Human business, human must do lah! Goes without saying, unless we want to do monkey business, and become monkey.. hmmm.. berapa banyak monkey daaaa..

  18. Hidup KOKA Says:

    I missed the quiet environment of rubber plantation!!!

    Tapi tak tahan bau bacin bila salai getah…….

    Ngeteh???

  19. JohnJenin Says:

    “They can be your closest friend, while at the same time (when you turn your back on them) throwing their shit at you. But hey…they are monkeys!”

    Terus dalam kepala otak pakcik terlintas muka muka pemimpin politik tanah air. Adoii. Can banana calm them down?

  20. madam gold Says:

    Where in the world are you working at doc?
    But now everywhere we can see ‘monkeys’.I always tell my students:
    “Behave jgn buat perangai mcm monyet.Cari ilmu n guna ilmu n tingkat iman jika tidak awak pun serupa yang mcm atas pokok tu.”
    They will silent and start thinking…

  21. Salam Doc..
    Jalan2 diwaktu petang, semoga doc dan family dirahmati Allah hendaknya.

  22. Since I am only a humble kiddies teacher who probably secured a humble place somewhere at the bottom of the ladder….all I could say is….

    errr..

    “Excuse me but let’s monkeying around and sing loudly!”

    “MONKEY MONKEY ON THE TREE..
    PLEASE COME DOWN AND PLAY WITH ME..

    1,2,3,4 ….”

    smile….

  23. Naddiea Says:

    Salam..

    Doc,nice entry..

    menjawap soalan doc dalam entry sebelum ini,Yess my mum from Terengganu.family tinggal kat Seberang Takir.Doc pun org terengganu ker??

  24. kucingorengemok Says:

    monyet kata: tolooong, dah 4 hari saya tak makan… heheh teringat kartun pendek masa kecik2 dulu🙂

  25. Oldstock Says:

    Doc,

    Kesian kat monkey tu… dia nak cari kawan baru kot.

    Betul tu Doc pasal the higher you climb, the more painful the fall. Tapi ramai orang nak climb higher because of the better view from up there. As for me, I’m afraid of heights, heheheh…

  26. MariaFaizal,
    Your house seems to be a heavenly sanctuary to many cool species. With your magic touch and motherly care, a pet nursery would be a nice idea you know. I am sure feline lovers would love to send their collection there. With monkeys however, you have to be extra vigilante as they are …. monkeys!

    FYI, Monkeys are considered wild and protected animal in our urban area, and they fall under Wildlife Department (PERHILITAN) jurisdiction and not the local council😉

    Have a nice day.

    Zendra,
    There is probably a small ‘monkey’ living in us, thus making us a little bit playful at a time.

    Compared to frogs however, monkeys caused less disturbance and are not able to drag the palace into the royal rumble.

    CatlinaFly,
    memang sah kenakalan si monyet! Tapi murid perempuan juga yang menjadi pilihannya🙂

    Sangat tertarik untuk belajar teknik terbaru (bagi saya) itu. Terimaksih diatas maklumat.

    nAz,
    ha..ha…anak saya pasti suka dengar ungkapan tersebut! Kalaulah Transformers baru sebut perkataan tu bila nak bertukarbentuk…glamer gitu.

    Ejump,
    Manusia bermacam hati dan perasaan. Ada yang berhati mulia dan kekadang melebihi haiwan.

    ouT oF My Mind,
    atau Darwin pada masa itu jeles tersangat dengan Sir Isaac Newton dengan Newton’s Lawnya….buntu sangat takde idea untuk teori baru dia cakap Monyet pun monyet lah. Agaknya lah. Itu teori saya aje yang ‘a bit out of my mind’🙂

  27. encik arif,
    pepatah Melayu ada mengatakan – tarik rambut dalam tepung, rambut tak putus, tepung tak berselerak.

    VersedAnggerik,
    That numbered alphabet really scared me and turn my feet as cold as Mr Slurpy.

    Yes, you’re right. That was actually a firecracker probably a lefover from last year’s Malam Tujuh Likur. Dunno where and how they got their hand on that unclassified item.

    SRISUFI,
    Minda memang tiada nilainya, namun jika minda digunakan dengan sebaik mungkin bagi menjana idea yang bermunafaat kepada sejagat, nilainya tiada terkira.

    Nurhani Salwa Binti Jamaludin,
    Salam. Only monkey understand another monkey. We a human, should remain as humanly sane as possible.

    hidup KOKA,
    Lama kelamaan hidung pun dah imun dengan aroma menusuk kalbu itu.

    ngeteh memang acara yang dinanti-nantikan. Nanti helo-helo!

  28. JohnJenin,
    Jangan pakcik…jangan….mana boleh monyet memimpin manusia! Even a banana could not calm a restless monkey. But a humongous amount of banana would probably entice them I presume.

    madam gold,
    I am enjoying my time at one of the greenest belt in Shah Alam, the only survivingbutnotsolong rubber area.

    I am sure your students will behave very well ma’am if you give them a good banana. I am sure you do. A banana split would be a bonus!

    Selamat bercuti sakan (cuti sekolah) ma’am.

    Fly,
    Salam bro. Gatal betul tangan nak tembak menembak. Mungkin cuti sekolah ni ada masa sikit.

    Selamat bercuti bro.

    ashley,
    A lonely monkey up a tree is surely a very sad sight to see. The higher a monkey climb a tree, the more difficult for them to come down and play on the ground.

    Naddiea,
    Salam. Kamu sekampung dengan penyair hebat ‘penyu menagis’. Dah semakin hilang sentuhan kampung nelayan itu – memang penyu akan menangis tidak henti-henti.

    Saya memang Ganu asli, peminat setia Khepok lekor dan nasi dagang!

    kucingorengemok,
    Saya pun peminat kartun, tapi macamana boleh telepas ungkapan yang begitu anggun ni ye:)

    Oldstock,
    Agaknye lah. Mungkin juga monyet tersebut tersesat kerana tidak diberi pedoman, halatuju dan panduan yang jelas dan betul.

    Saya pun kekadang tu gayat juga, tu yang kurang minat sangat nak panjat tinggi-tinggi ni.

  29. hurmmm… yang melebihi haiwan tu lah…yang kita xmo…

  30. r e s p e c t! reminds me of that song. siapa tah yang nyanyi.

    the awesome thing about monkeys is that they are still mysterious beings to us, and scientists continue to ponder where the heck is the evolutionary link between them and us.

  31. Ida Athanazir Says:

    lama tak singgah… 🙂

  32. Ejump,
    harap-harap begitu.

    mizzyN,
    respect is a mutual feeling. respect ourselves, respect others.

    Ida Athanazir,
    Banyak cerita untuk dikongsi. Ada masa singgah lagi.

  33. I have a lot of ‘monkeys’ in my workplace too. I hate when they classified among themselves about how reliable they’re. And I really hate the one that totally unreliable still seat in that so-called reliable place.

    I’ll respect whoever earned it.

  34. huh very interesting!!!

  35. patungcendana Says:

    hi doc…

    hehehe…monkey see…monkey do…

    re:…the next time I hae to be in Kl, I’ll gie you my number…:-)

  36. Laracroft74 Says:

    Dr Sam,
    I balas your visit.. I do agree with your statement & comment by Honeya Diaz. It reminds me of an email I received quite sometimes ago. It's about a group of students who visited their prof and they were served a hot choc with a different kind of mugs. Most of them chose the best and nice mugs but they forgot that they actually just wanted to drink the hot choc. If you relate the hot choc – mug, it is something to do with life. The hot choc is your life and the mug is your status/career. Sometimes when you concentrate to much on your career, you tend to forget to enjoy life. Life has to be balance..the most important is to appreciate, enjoy and live your life to the fullest… my 2 cents opinion…🙂

  37. CAHAYA,
    These days, I tend to respect everybody even incompetence monkeys in the rubber estate.

    Zafi,
    Glad you found it that way🙂

    patungcendana,
    Welcome to K.L.

    laracroft74,
    received the email too, some time ago. Each individual has different interpretation on life and the reason why we are here in the first place. thanks for sharing and do come again.

  38. arsaili Says:

    salam..bila monyet berkeliaran, itu tandanya ada tangan2 manusia yg bertanggungjawab menganggu ecosystem…di dalam Al Quran pun jelas akan keperluan kita menjaga alam, dan Rasullah S.A.W pun turut berpesan waima dalam peperangan sekalipun agar jangan dimusnah hutan…
    Bila kita melanggar larangan ini, terjadi la pelbagai bencana.
    Jumpa kt Msia, InsyaAllah

  39. salam,
    memang agak merungsingkan melihat bahana dan akibat yang menyusul angkara tamak dan haloba manusia. Hilang tamadun monyet, justeru tidak dapat tidak melangkaui tamadun manusia.

    Insyaalah jika tiada aral, berjumpa kita sekali lagi berkongsi cerita.

  40. PerantauSepi1306 Says:

    indeed a very clever article Dr Sam… hmmm, ever feel of becoming a writer… coz your wrote your story beautifully😀

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